The process isn’t perfect, and sometimes you do what you can
Sep 11, 2009
from Kris Miner's entry on her blog Restorative Justice and Circles:
Not all Restorative processes turn out in the bulls eye. For me, as much as I clear the way for the process, and try to remain neutral, well I want to give people the opportunity for healing. I think I hit the bulls eye, or get the job done on a pretty consistent basis.
I’m competitive, I want to do a good job at whatever I am doing. When a victim-offender dialogue didn’t go off in textbook form, I have to take a good look at it and learn. I hope my observations can help you in a future situation.
I’ve analyzed my options, I’ve taken inventory of what I could do differently.
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The offender in jail, was not the same out of jail. Pre-conference meetings held at the probation office and the jail had me seeing a different person. The final conference was held after the jail time was finished. The offender was a bit more ‘outgoing’ maybe opinionated. Lesson: pre-conference people in the current living situation. As I look back this seemed like it was going to be okay, I had no idea that a completion of the jail term would leave the offender with a sense of “did my time, what more would you want”. My words to describe the attitude.
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Dig deep with victims, regarding what they want. I don’t mind angry victims. Some people veer cases away from restorative justice because the person is so upset. Well I think upset is good. Upset is pretty natural. It gives me a place to start. I think, someone expressing themselves is okay, its like they have lit the candle and are ready to burn down to healing and acceptance. When the vicitm was mad, I felt he was pretty justified. I explained restorative justice, completely. We met 3 maybe 4 times, and even had phone calls in between. When it got to the conference, the victim want to dump. period. When I say dump, I mean dump. Lesson: get victims to parrot back to you their understanding of the process. Speak to all the stages of the dialogue.
