Getting feedback is awesome, we should give it more often, directly.

Feb 26, 2010

— filed under: Limitations, Support, Practice

from Kris Miner's entry at Restorative Justice and Circles:

NOTE: One of the reasons that Kris' blog is so useful is that she is transparent about her experiences as a facilitator and agency director. In this entry she talks about two kinds of feedback she received recently and how she intends to use both.

At the beginning of Circle, we write a relationship value on paper plates, we place these on the floor in front of us. We make a commitment to honor these values in Circle. If they are good values for our relationships outside of Circle, they are good values for our relationships in Circle.

We do a give and get activity. One person starts by picking a plate and giving it to someone else in Circle. An explanation of how the value was demonstrated and why it was given is part of the activity. Once you get a plate its your turn to give one.

Yesterday I got two plates: LOVE and INTEGRITY. I also got a phone call I was ‘reported’ to a statewide association. Getting the plates and getting the phone call, very different types of feedback, but I am going to accept them both as awesome. Let me try to explain that:

Getting feedback is awesome, we should give it more often, directly.

See the plates were direct and to my face, I can really do something with that. The phone call came as a professional courtesy and in a few days I’ll know more about that. For now, I know someone has feedback about me, they just gave it to someone else to give to me. I am assuming that was the intention, but I don’t know.

The plates I was given really touched me. A professional colleague gave me ‘LOVE’ and expressed how my love for the process of Circle, and being a self-proclaimed Circle Freak, really made things happen. I was given INTEGRITY by a parent, in Circle because of a child’s harmful behavior. The feedback was positive, immediate and it had an impact on me, that reinforced my behavior, attitude and passion for how I do this restorative work.

The phone call, caused me to be defensive. I was hurt to get the call, and realized the messenger was not the issue. I took a deep breath, sighed and offered there is more to the story. The caller and I did not have time to get into the issue. I was impacted by the call, I was hurt to know someone had tried to launch a complaint, or concern without me. I started to mull over what the content of the concern might be. I know I’m not perfect, and the process is not.

Read the whole entry.

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